The Better Looking Rat

 

    The squirrel. The better-looking rat. We are superficial when it comes to animals. What does it mean to be a cute animal? Do the more aesthetically pleasing ones have more human-like snouts? Do we compare them to Willy the gray-haired store clerk, or Cindy the motherly schoolteacher? Is it just me or is the movement of the squirrel much like a furry lizard? Not the face, the face is very mammalian, but the rest of the body that has this herky-jerky quality of movement.

    She sits in front of me, as I nosh some nuts. These are ready to eat right away, but you are the prepper. The animal version of the person who stocks ammo, and freeze-dried food waiting for nuclear winter to strike. The one who hasn’t heard about the new “safer” nuclear reactors that Bill Gates is pushing…

Alright then. Prep away.

    I flick a nut at the upright rodent. It’s as if I zapped her with a remote control. She pauses in frame. I am suddenly conscious of my breathing, as I look at this tiny statue before me. She comes to life and turns first her eyes side to side, then head. She doesn’t want anyone to know about her secret stash. As any good prepper would she avoids detection. She skips forward towards the nut in an amazing movement involving every muscle and becomes a statue once more. She thinks: move quickly enough it and it will hypnotize him and any other watcher. Am I sure that doll wasn’t already this close? It looks the same just nearer.

    I got my eye on you squirrel. I am the eye in (on) the sky (bench) looking at you, I can read your mind. I blink twice. The nut and squirrel are gone. Was it my imagination? Is this like when you look at a light and you get those purplish-blue flashes in your vision? Like that, except I looked at a gray tree for too long and I’m seeing squirrels everywhere? I enjoy asking, it saves on answers, or even more taxing: reasons.

    Out of side eye, I see her, or doppelganger (is it offensive to say all squirrels look the same? I know you’re not supposed to say that about humans, but other animals are fine, right?) Attached to a tree blended into the watercolours of the fall eve shadows cheeks gorging on a nut. She isn’t a prepper after all…

 

    In the distance I see more squirrels scaling up trees with talons more akin to birds than mammals. I could just sit and watch them doing whatever they are doing for hours. Why is this so entertaining?

Trips

 

Coffee is Healthy

 

Coffee is not coffee is not coffee. There are variations in quality.

There are different types of coffee beans, arabica and robusta, just as there are different types of marijuana such as indica and sativa.

Food is susceptible to mold. Coffee is one of the foods that is most susceptible to mold damage due to its’ high acidity. ₁

Against conventional wisdom it may be better to brush your teeth before drinking coffee. ₂

Ground coffee is more susceptible to mold compared with coffee ground fresh from whole beans. ₃ Therefore, coffee should be freshly ground before you use a French press to steep it.

Decaffeinated coffee is more susceptible to mold. ₄

Pesticides prevent damage to foods but are toxic to humans to varying degrees. ₅ Therefore, it is preferable to buy organic or spray free coffee.

Single origin is healthier than blended coffee (unless the coffee specifies that it is “single origin” it is most likely not, as this is something that coffee aficionados specifically look for). ₆

 

Coffee improves athletic performance. ₇

 

High quality coffee used at optimal dosage is healthy.

Coffee contains caffeine. ₈

Caffeine is a drug, but it is not physically addictive (anything can be mentally addictive, of course). _{9 10}

Caffeine has benefits and drawbacks, and like many drugs there is an ideal amount. Too little and one does not experience the benefits of the drug, too much and the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.

Like any drug the ideal amount varies with the size of the user. It will take more caffeine to affect a three hundred than a one hundred pound person. ₁₁

 

Coffee is high in polyphenols. ₁₂

 

Polyphenols feed the healthy bacteria in your gut. ₁₃

 

Coffee is a diuretic, so yes, it is dehydrating. ₁₄ Therefore, something should be done to maintain hydration if you use coffee. ₁₅

Uncoupling coffee and caffeine: Coffee is not caffeine, but it contains caffeine. Be careful not to use them interchangeably. Much of the criticism of coffee is actually criticism of caffeine.

 

The next time some dipshit says, “coffee is bad for you,” just pat them on they head and say “shh, the grown-ups are talking.” Then tuck them into bed and read them a story.

 

 

 

Works Cited:

 

1.      https://extension.umn.edu/preserving-and-preparing/are-molds-foods-dangerous#:~:text=Conditions%20and%20food%20where%20mold,as%20bacon%2C%20ham%20and%20bologna.

2.      https://www.generaldentistdurham.com/2022/07/14/should-you-brush-teeth-before-or-after-coffee/#:~:text=But%20you%20could%20be%20damaging,teeth%20after%20eating%20or%20drinking.

3.      https://www.javapresse.com/blogs/buying-coffee/whole-bean-vs-ground-coffee

4.      https://seeds.ca/schoolfoodgardens/how-do-pesticides-impact-food-systems/#:~:text=Pesticides%20make%20sure%20that%20the,cheap%20and%20available%20very%20easily.

5.      https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/the-mycotoxins-in-coffee-myth

6.      Taheri Karami, G., Hemmatinafar, M., Koushkie Jahromi, M., Nemati, J., & Niknam, A. (2023). Repeated mouth rinsing of coffee improves the specific-endurance performance and jump performance of young male futsal players. Journal of the International Society of Sports Nutrition, 20(1), 2214108. https://doi-org.ezproxy.tru.ca/10.1080/15502783.2023.2214108

7.      https://specialtycoffee.id/single-origin-vs-blend-whats-the-difference-and-which-is-better/

8.      https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/how-much-caffeine-in-coffee

9.      https://adf.org.au/drug-facts/caffeine/

10.  https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/15496-caffeine-how-to-hack-it-and-how-to-quit-it#:~:text=Over%20time%2C%20you%20might%20find,but%20the%20level%20is%20small.

11.  https://www.fda.gov/drugs/information-consumers-and-patients-drugs/you-age-you-and-your-medicines#:~:text=Changes%20in%20body%20weight%20can,to%20the%20liver%20and%20kidneys.

12.  https://www.webmd.com/diet/foods-high-in-polyphenols

13.  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9220293/#:~:text=Dietary%20polyphenols%20influence%20gut%20microbiota,modulate%20the%20regulatory%20metabolism%20network.

14.  https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/expert-answers/caffeinated-drinks/faq-20057965#:~:text=As%20a%20chemical%2C%20caffeine%20increases,of%20urine%20the%20body%20makes.

15.  https://spoonuniversity.com/lifestyle/this-is-how-much-water-to-have-to-drink-to-offset-your-coffee-addiction#:~:text=This%20means%20that%20for%20every,up%20for%20the%20diuretic%20effect.&text=However%2C%20in%20the%20long%20term,for%20coffee%27s%20effects%20at%20all.

Laughing

 

Underlying

 

Underlying

 

 

What is lying under the surface?

 

Clearly what is under the surface is deep. Natural contrast: depth is below the shallows.

 

When you squatted down with ruddy knees and turned over a stubby stone as a child, what did you find underneath? Bugs, dirt and mold.

 

On the surface, people ask about your day. How have you been? You say, I’ve been well, this brisk fall weather is quite refreshing. Within your arthritic neck is flaring as you turn your head to feign interest.

 

The deep stuff is the meaningless of existence. Talking about the grid of time and space and resources we are caught in. We can get a little more, but it also costs a bit more. Trapped. We can move in a finite way, box to box, cube to cube. Dull, as in without point, as in start of paragraph.

 

On the skin is the oil paint that dazzles the eyes hides the bland or unkempt canvas flesh skeleton.

 

Shadow is deep. Well… we can see it sometimes if we observe a little. What comes out when you’re anonymous online, when you’re in your steel rectangular armour on wheels. What comes out is the truth. What you’re trying to suppress below the fake-it-till-you-make-it with gritted orange section beam.

 

The stuff I secretly laugh at soothing me, telling me sweet blaring nothings while rich sports fans complain about how their entertainment isn’t quite up to their standards. Spoiled brats!

 

Behind your eyes. Emotionally intelligent customer service skills. Fake it a little. But how plastic do you have to keep it? At least I’m real-fake, you fake-fake! You’re over the unreal line. I tell the truth even when I lie.

 

Yeah, you’re shiny but underneath you’re trying to get all you can. Slicked back hair politician salesman. The kind that mystifies you as to how they convince people. [Seinfeld voice]: Who ARE these people? You have enough. You want to be bloated. More money. More food. More sexual attention period. More powerful. More control. More comfort. You saw a sucker coming named Luke. You picked me up, turned me upside down and shook out the nickels and dimes. How much does he have? Let’s upsell! He’s already here and buying, clearly he’ll buy more. Let’s see what is he afraid of, and how can I use that to manipulate him? Let’s make it time limited, everyone loves a deal, but it’s only available today. And people need it now! What if there is no deal later? Fear of missing out. Maybe he’s a perv let’s try my doe-eyed curvaceous assistant with something full of sugar to soften him up…

 

You think you’re better than me, and in some respect, correct. You have to play surface humility, the snowy mountain on the tip top of your behemothical ego.

 

Is the deep stuff so great?

Lich

 

Mary and Son