Naked Heart

                                                                                Naked Heart

                                                         Spit out my naked heart for judgement.

 

I am an intense person. I enjoy intimacy. I enjoy going deep. I want to do what I want to do to the extreme. I don’t want ten minutes. I don’t want superficial acquaintances. I want brothers and sisters, I want lovers, I want to go all the way.

Oh my god that local sports team! Wowzers your dress is so cute! That weather! Boy oh boy, that food item gives me such mouth pleasure. I could not give a fuck less! Does free will exist? What heuristics do you come closer to truth by? What are your principles? When that formative life experience happened how did it transform you? I get that the way I rush into this stuff is intensely creepy. It’s like asking to tickle someone’s insides without getting to know them for a couple minutes. Perhaps I am impatient. Maybe I feel the conversation can get stuck in a superficial groove.

I ham-fist this stuff to make it what I want. Is this just selfish? Hopefully, other people enjoy going deep as well. Nice paint but let’s explore the inside of the house. Let’s relive its’ cherished reminiscences, scratch away its’ surface, see its’ rust its’ black mold. Check the wiring.

                                                                I look for depth on two levels:

Intellectual.

Or

Intimate honesty.

 

Or

Let us just joke around.

 

That is how I am most of the time in waking life. I am the jokester. Am I just a desensitized asshole, addicted to sensations that release chemicals in my brain? Probably so.

Don’t take me to the place already gone to, been there before. Show me a new street sign, a new crack in the sidewalk, new old buildings. Your cliches leave me deaf dumb and mute: another day another dollar, it is what it is, it doesn’t matter how I’m doing. Let us change some minds, hurt some feelings, reveal our soul in its’ picturesque hideousness.

 

Know each other as much as we can know others.