One On One

 

One On One

 

What is criticism? Telling someone something to help them improve. We all want to be awesome all the time but we’re not. Criticism helps us see what we’re not seeing and improve. Better criticism involves specifics on how one goes about the specific process of improving (the how not just the what) and should come from someone who already has the skill or quality in question themselves. Criticism is not the same as insulting a person. Criticism has a purpose: to help someone improve. Insults just serve to cause psychic injury. Criticize me but treat me with respect.

 

Criticism should be done one on one. Find a private area to do this. This treats the person you are criticizing with respect. Criticism is embarrassing. Criticism should be important because it is painful to hear. Sandwich your criticism by letting the person you criticize know that you care about them. Also, let them know there is a purpose to it, and you’re not just trying to belittle them.

 

            Criticism should not be done in front of others. Jumping in and correcting someone when you’re not even part of a conversation is just insulting. If it’s important that the person learns or improves something take them aside and address it. Don’t shout out, “no that’s not right” as someone is trying to explain something to someone else. They didn’t ask you. You’re not part of the conversation. Go away. Or let someone who is part of the conversation invite you into it. You are hurting this person’s authority. You are a lime-diseased tick on a shaggy dog’s inner ear.

           

            In the same respect, don’t cut people off as they are speaking. This cannot always be done effectively but pay attention and try to time them for a moment to response, rather than talking over them. If you do so accidentally, say “excuse me, I didn’t mean to cut you off” and let them continue to empty their face.

 

            I am appreciative of criticism, especially from those who are authorities on the subject. Just show respect also. Criticism is not an excuse to just pick a person’s ass.